Credit card theft, penis injections, and other weird scandals from the 2026 Olympic Games

Generally speaking, the athlete stories that come out of the Olympic Games are about the countless hours spent on the ice, on the slopes, and at the gym; the multitude of personal sacrifices made and the support systems that made it all possible; the training routines and nutrition regimens they’ve adhered to with endless discipline; and how all of that comes down to these special moments.

But the stories coming out of the 2026 Milan Cortina Olympics so far are…weird. Unhinged, even. There’s a chaotic energy that feels different from previous years. Sure, there are always funny viral moments, but when was the last time there was teammate-on-teammate credit card fraud, accusations of dick doping, or public admissions of adultery in the first few days?

We have to ask: What the hell is happening in Milan? Is there something (besides norovirus) in the water? Are the Games simply being…